The
difference between a compliment and flattery is often motive. A compliment
offers genuine appreciation for a quality or action seen in another person. The
goal of flattery is usually self-advancement through gaining the favor of
someone else. Compliments seek to encourage; flattery attempts to manipulate.
In Psalm
12, David lamented his society in which godly, faithful people had disappeared
and been replaced by those who speak deceitfully “with flattering lips and a
double heart” (v.2). They had said, “With our tongue we will prevail; our lips
are our own; who is lord over us?” (v.4).
The
question “Who owns my lips?” is a good one to ask ourselves when we’re tempted
to use insincere praise to get what we want. If my lips are my own, I can say
what I please. But if the Lord owns my lips, then my speech will mirror His
words, which the psalmist described as “pure words, like silver tried in a
furnace of earth, purified seven times” (v.6).
Perhaps a
good way to show who owns our lips would be to begin each day with David’s
prayer from another psalm: “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my
heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer” (Ps.
19:14).
He who
guards his mouth preserves his life. - Proverbs 13:3 (RBC)
