To stake
or not to stake? That’s the question Marilyn faced when she planted a tree
sapling last summer. The salesman said, “Stake it for one year so it will be
supported in strong winds. Then remove them so it can grow deep roots on its
own.” But a neighbor told her, “Staking may cause more harm than good. The tree
needs to start building strong roots right away, or it may never. Not staking
is best for long-term health.”
We wonder
about that question in relationships too. For instance, if someone has gotten
himself into trouble, do we “stake him down” by rescuing him, or do we let the
person “grow strong roots” on his own by allowing him to face the consequences
of his choices? Obviously it depends on what seems best for the person’s
long-term spiritual health. What does love do, and when does it do it? Proverbs
19 gives opposite thoughts: We are to have “pity” and lend our assistance
(v.17), yet there are dangers in rescuing another because you might need to do
it again (v.19). Providing the right help requires wisdom beyond our own.
God hasn’t left us on our own. He will give us the wisdom when we ask Him. And as we lean on Him, our own roots will grow deep in Him as well.
