In desperation,
a woman called the housing assistance center where I worked. A heating problem
had turned her rental home into a freezer with furniture. Panicked, she asked
me how she would care for her children. I hurriedly replied with the scripted
official response: “Just move into a hotel and send the landlord the bill.” She
angrily hung up on me.
I knew the
textbook answer to her question, but I had completely missed her heart. She
wanted someone to understand her fear and desperation. She needed to know she
wasn’t alone. In essence, I had left her out in the cold.
After Job had
lost everything, he had friends with answers but little understanding. Zophar
told him all he needed to do was live wholeheartedly for God. Then “life will
be brighter than noonday,” he said (11:17). That counsel wasn’t well received,
and Job responded with scathing sarcasm: “Wisdom will die with you!” (12:2). He
knew the dissatisfying taste of textbook answers to real-world problems.
It’s easy to be
critical of Job’s friends for their failure to see the big picture. But how
often are we too quick with answers to questions we don’t truly understand?
People do want answers. But more than that, they want to know we hear and
understand. They want to know we care.
Before people want to hear what you say, they want to know that you care. (ODB)
