LISTENING

In her book Listening to Others, Joyce Huggett writes about the importance of learning to listen and respond effectively to those in difficult situations. As she relates some of her own experiences of listening to suffering people, she mentions that they often thank her for all she’s done for them. “On many occasions,” she writes, “I have not ‘done’ anything. I have ‘just listened.’ I quickly came to the conclusion that ‘just listening’ was indeed an effective way of helping others.”

This was the help Job sought from his friends. While it is true that they sat with him for 7 days in silence, “for they saw that his grief was very great” (2:13), they didn’t listen when Job started talking. Instead, they talked and talked but failed to comfort him (16:2). “Oh, that I had one to hear me!” Job cried (31:35).

Listening says, “What matters to you matters to me.” Sometimes people do want advice. But often they just want to be listened to by someone who loves and cares about them.

Listening is hard work, and it takes time. It takes time to listen long enough to hear the other person’s true heart, so that if we do speak, we speak with gentle wisdom.

Oh, Lord, give us a loving heart and a listening ear.

When I’m thinking about an answer while others are talking—I’m not listening. (RBC)